263. You’re Caught In A Trap And You Need To Get Out

A scorpion wants to get to the other side of the river. ‘Cause why not. Plus, he owes some money to the badger so he’s gotta get outta Dodge.

It’s complicated.

Anyway, the scorpion sees a frog and asks the frog to carry him across the river.

“No f-ing way, bruh,” said the Gen Z frog.

The frog explained that he was afraid of being stung by the scorpion.

“Dude…” the scorpion said. And then he proceeded to explain to the frog that it would be ridiculous for him to sting the frog. After all, if he did, they would both drown.

The frog agreed with that reasoning. Plus the scorpion offered him fifty bucks for the ride.

So the scorpion hops on the frog’s back and the frog begins swimming across the river. Halfway to the other side, the scorpion stings the frog.

Like we didn’t see that coming.

The frog drowns.
The scorpion drowns.
This isn’t a happy Hollywood ending.

We’ll get to the leadership lesson in a second.
First, the monkey trap.

The Monkey Trap

If a monkey is bothering you, if it’s stealing your food and waking you up in the morning and generally being a nuisance, here’s what you do.

You take some type of large gourd, like a pumpkin or a calabash or something. Then you put a hole in the gourd that’s just small enough for the monkey’s hand to fit through.

Inside the hole, put a nut.
Then get your monkey net ready.

Soon enough, the monkey will come to the gourd, reach into the hole and grab the nut. But his fist won’t fit back through the hole. And the monkey won’t let go of the nut.

He’ll be trapped.
The monkey would rather stay holding on to the nut than be caught.

And now we talk about you.

The Traps We Set

The author Raymond Chandler once wisely said:

There is no trap as deadly as the trap you set for yourself.

We are our own worst enemies. To quote the cartoonist Walt Kelly:

I have seen the enemy and it is us.

Like the scorpion, we tend to trap ourselves in self-destructive cycles simply because of our natural tendencies. And, like the monkey, we remain ignorant in acknowledging how our actions work against us.

This reminds me of a CEO I know.

The CEO Trap

In my leadership coaching business, I once worked with a guy who spent his entire career at one company. He rose through the ranks and ended up becoming CEO of this 8-figure org.

After a few years as CEO, a Private Equity firm came around and offered to buy the company. He was excited and moved the deal forward. He even told people he was going to sell.

But just before the final agreement was signed, he stopped communicating with the buyer.

<insert screeching tire sound effect>

Because of this, the deal eventually fell apart.

A few years later the guy hired an investment banker to help sell the company.

He got some decent offers and decided to move forward. But again, the night before signing a term sheet, the CEO announced to everybody that he wasn’t going to sell the company after all.

He came up with some mumbo jumbo that not many people believed.

You see, he was scared of change. This company was all he knew. He couldn’t think of a life beyond it. In the end, he sabotaged every deal.

Like the scorpion, his nature trapped him in a cycle of self-destructive behavior.

(My job was to help him let go of the proverbial nut and take his hand out of the proverbial gourd. Or to take his head out of the proverbial sand – depending on whether you want a monkey or an ostrich analogy.)

What’s Your Trap?

There are a whole bunch of ways that people unknowingly get in their own way. You probably do it yourself without even recognizing it.

Like the scorpion, you’ve lived a life acting one way and are prone to act the same way. That’s human nature.

Like the monkey, maybe you ignore the role you play in life’s outcome and view yourself as the victim.

Let me spell out for you a few of the most popular ways people set traps for themselves. While you read these, do me a favor… think about how many of them apply to you.

For every one that applies to you, give yourself 2 points.
Sound good?
Great.

Here we go.

1. Procrastination

Do you often delay getting things done? Do you paint yourself into a lose-lose corner? That’s a problem.

2. Fear of Change

Change takes you out of your comfort zone. Without the courage to go there, you are your own obstacle.

3. Overconfidence

Confidence is good. Overconfidence? Maybe not so much. Overconfidence leads to poor decisions and ignorance. And that’s what happened to the monkey. ‘nuff said.

4. Short-Term Thinking

If you are solely focused on immediate gains and don’t have a vision for the future, you won’t recognize real opportunities until they have sailed away.

5. Ego

An ego is fine. A big ego is the one that will block opportunities from your line of view. You don’t want to trip over your own ego.

6. Overthinking

Paralysis by analysis is a real thing. Avoiding traps happens by trying. Not overthinking.

7. Lack of Self-Belief

Doubting your abilities and your potential will stop you from pursuing the challenging goals.

8. Negative Mindset

A pessimistic outlook is a ball and chain that only leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.

Getting Out Of The Trap

So what’s your score? How many of them define you?
How about your boss – what’s their score?

Message me or drop a note in the comments.

In leadership, as in regular life, the traps we set for ourselves are always the ones that are the hardest to escape. But all it takes is a little self-awareness to avoid getting caught in your own traps.

Maybe it’s time to let go of that nut, eh?

—