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My worst summer job was as a piano accompanist for a girl’s singing class.

The piano part was nice and fine. It was the last day of class that ruined everything. That was the day that the teacher and all the students asked me to sing.

I can’t sing. I told them that.

I mean, I can sing. Physically, I can sing a song.

I just can’t do it in tune.

But they begged. And so, with extreme reluctance, I agreed.

When I opened my mouth and tried to sing, the teacher and the entire class looked at me in horror.

The primary definition of tone deafness is the inability to sense the difference between two tones.

I can sense the difference.

The secondary definition is the inability to match a tone or melody when you’re singing.

I can’t do this. Not even close.

When I tried to sing in that class, it was the manifestation of my worst nightmare. I nearly cried right there in front of all the 9-year-old girls.

Which leads us to Braden Wallake.